There Mya was, standing in front of her broken family, agonized by the arguments and her failed confession. She was only fifteen years old but that didn’t stop her from crying inside. She wanted it to rain, she wanted to rain so bad. As if the clouds could ever heal her pain by crying for her. She collapse to the bottom and sunk like a dead fish who wasn’t good enough to sell.
Die. That word was the only thing that circled Mya’s mind when she found herself leaning on the blue rigged walls of her father’s house. Joy. It was so far away from Mya after her eye-opening discovery about love. Family. It was the only thing that could save her but they had to pick this day to fall apart. She remembered the words, “Hah..ha.. Oh wait you’re serious? But we’re both girls so….. um” Mya punched the wall, she wanted it to hurt until she turned pale enough to die. She wanted everyone to hurt. She didn’t want to be the only one with this pain, what did she do to ever deserve this. Five years to get that kind of answer? Blood was dripping from mya’s clenched fist. The anger dwelling inside her was eager to come out. Tears fell onto her hand as she spread her fingers out to clearly inspect her injuries.
They reached the school, the high school she’s been going to for two years now that they moved back from New York to Laynebrook in California, in less than a ten minutes; the car conversation was quiet, a very unusual thing, but Mya knew that these kind of things she will have to get used to, now that her parents were divorced. She didn’t care what she looked this morning, and her hair was a messed up bird nest. She felt guilt towards her boyfriend, loving someone while dating him. She knew she had to let him go but it was as if he was holding on too tight and she wouldn’t be able to without hurting him. The pain in her head kept spreading as did the pain in her heart. Her pitiful self was too depressed to even get out of the car. She stepped outside and entered the gates of a day that would change her life.
Two years passed since that day. Mya still stood in the same hallway but the feeling it gave off was nothing of the same. She held a half smile as she looked at her phone. About twenty new messages were all from her previous lovers. She’s long since dumped her last boyfriend and moved on to a more interesting activity. As she was thinking about what/who she'll do tonight, she felt a boy bump into her,
“Watch where you’re g-” Mya abruptly stopped her words as she realized who she was talking to. Her childhood friend and a previously known as a trustworthy companion, Jay.
His voice was deep, very different from the high pitched, sassiness he used to have for which he was bullied in fifth grade. He probably doesn't even remember me, Mya thought as she watched his back slowly disappear into the crowd, I wonder what he’d say if he did. The bell rang and Mya’s bag leaned against her strong shoulders she had worked hard to fix, I am a new person, she thought as she walked her way to class, I’m not the same cry baby I was before. She took a seat onto the cold chair regretting that she wore short shorts on this day but remembering she didn't have much of a choice in her clothing apparel. Her regular routine now at school consisted of avoiding being caught by teachers, and if it happened that she was caught, seducing the teacher into letting her go. She didn't care anymore about what happened to her body or her life. The only thing that brought her happiness now was ruining herself more and more with every day that came. She thought back to her previous concerns, What if they saw what I have become.
Jay started to walk quicker as he realized who he bumped in to. Red hair, black eyes, tan skin. She was still beautiful. He was walking even faster now, hoping no one heard his thoughts even if his thoughts were private to himself. He opened the door to his classroom and took a deep breath. Moving was supposed to be a new start for him, he purposely went to a school far away from his house to avoid the rumors from the last. “Only fifteen years old and already in so much trouble,” the parents would say, “I heard his mother spends all her money on alcohol.” He’d ignore them, put on a smile, and walk past as if he was a normal child, but it all started getting worse when the adults, not enough courage to admit it to Jay themselves, would pass on their words to their children, “Don’t talk to him, he’s bad,” or “Don’t come over to his house or you’ll be in big trouble mister.” They all stopped talking to him, except for her. She was special.
It was four years ago. A new girl in sixth grade, every boy stared at her. Her hair reached down to her knees and was curled up carefully, as if it has taken her hours to look this beautiful, but in reality he would later find out that her beauty came from not her looks but her bright smile, that could make the whole room shine. Cheesy? Off course, but those thoughts were the only things that he could think of as she walked up closer to him and yelled, “IT’S A MINI WILL SMITH!” Everyone stared at her wondering if this was the same girl who looked like a goddess only a couple of seconds ago in their minds. Will Smith? I’m sorry but that was enough to make Jay burst out laughing. Mya looked at everyone as if they were acting strange and she was the normal one there; what was going on? That started the tumorous best friends, earned them their ship name May, and a continuous friend zone daily from Mya to Jay. Her personality being completely contradictory to her looks, a tomboy. And at times, Jay wondered if he seemed more of a girl than a guy next to her. They were both special, unique, and different. That friendship lasted for almost four years until her mother’s job required her to separate from him. I guess it was an eye-opening occurrence for Jay, when he realized the only light in his life was slowly drifting away from his reach. He would never forget her, he didn't know if she would forget him.
Middle school started not too many months from then, and Jay was a depressed mistake in this useless world who hid from the children inside the classrooms that shielded him from their words that surely hurt more than sticks and stones, because the broken heart could never be replaced by surgeries or plastic that cost so much which he didn't have half the money for. Back then he never thought how much he’d yearn for that peaceful life that put him in such agony, never comparable to the frightening experience he had after. Guns, drugs, memory. One he lost, one he found, and one has damaged his life forever. The officials above hid it to cover up the city’s reputation, pretending to care about the little boy that made a mistake, when it reality they themselves believed he was a mistake as well. A mistake. That’s what he kept repeating to himself every. single. day. because living was a pain but he didn't have the courage to end his life. Pathetic much? Off course it wasn’t, but his mind couldn't find any space for a different implication.
Not having enough money for a new house, the family of two stayed at their own, forcing him an hour of walking every day just to reach the bus stop for school. He found friends, but made sure to stay away from large connections. He would be the outsider in the groups but would be let into the inside conversations. He still didn't belong anywhere, but this time it was fine with him. He wanted to get through highschool and survive his life before living. Him meeting Mya was a completely unexpected occurrence- discovering that the only thing that used to make him happy was standing in front of him and all he did was turn around saying, “sorry.” He should have hugged her, he should have whispered how much he missed her and made her promise she would never leave. He went back to that image of Mya’s face, it was more mature now but her eyes were heavy with makeup. There was red lipstick, but what surprised him is the fact there Mya looked completely different, as if she’s changed. She no longer had the same smile, the smile she made now was as if a replaced version to hide her away from the past. What happened? Jay wondered, Why were her eyes so swollen. If she knew how much he payed attention to her, would she be able to look at Jay the same way as she did back then.
Would he be able to look at her the same way if he found out about her night time activities? Mya felt the vibration of her phone in class as the teacher announced the homework. Mya walked up to the weird guy wearing glasses, he looked nerdy enough to do her homework. She felt terrible, terrible for doing this; she knew that if she did this she would have more free time. If she just kept telling herself it was for a good cause, everything would be alright.
“Why hello there hot stuff,” Mya winked as she thought inside, maybe I should just do my homework myself.
“Um, excuse me?” Suddenly a girl with long blonde hair walked between Mya and the black-haired stranger, “This bay is MINE, ever heard of Jady?” Mya looked up at them, raising one eyebrow as if questioning how their relationship came to be. If she was her old self, she’d laugh and take a ship photo, but she knew that the thing she needed to do right now was get rid of her piled up biology homework. She slowly made her way to the door as she bumped into Jay. She looked above and dashed as he let her through. She had a feeling that tonight she’ll be up all night as well, but instead she will be doing homework.
Jay was walking down the hallway, still thinking about Mya and the reason for her presence. What made her return to Laynebrook? Could it possibly be her fathers job? His mind was filled with more questions than answers and he felt as if he couldn't go without communicating with Mya once more. The next day, he met his regular “buddies” in the cafeteria, hoping they’ll have knowledge about the red haired beauty.
Mya was walking past the school building, knowing inside the building hell waited for her. Her impenetrable heart suddenly felt as if it has started to move again, and her, in the past arid eyes, suddenly felt too humid for her mind to handle. Her unpredictable, anemic soul needed gingerly care, but in this new life she built for herself it was perilous to speak. The frail girl was coming back, and now she was trapped inside a life where she was conscientious about her every action. She curled up inside a ball as if wishing for someone to disentangle herself from this convoluted fate. But if this was really her fate, then was Jay’s abrupt appearance inside her destiny as well…
And though so long ago, even now at 23 years old Mya felt that same baffling, aching pain. It was as if her heart was whispering to her, “Don’t leave me…” She woke up from her deep sleep and found herself laying in Jay’s living room. She, holding a chipped cup, looked at the outlandish, wide open door. Jay’s deep voice filled her head as she lied back down, listening to his words as they put her back to peaceful sleep, “Don’t ever leave me, dear friend.”